I’ve just bunked a lecture, two in fact, not exactly with the intention to write something, as I cringe back in the chair with a cramped tummy. Yeah, jogged and stretched for roughly thirty minutes last evening. Gulped down something like half a litre of H2O to make up for all the perspiration. By the way, occasional elements of physical exertion make me feel so good about myself. To feel that yeah I did sweat it out, the Schumacher pulse, and fancying my naked torso in the full length mirrors fitted in our rooms this summer, the stiffening tissue and the bulging calf muscles, the taste of adrenaline!
However, it certainly wasn’t the water ingestion responsible for wringing my stomach. I mean indeed it was THE water. Later around 10 p.m. I got wind of a sudden tumult in the hostel premises, people were running around with a sullen disquiet, and all this with a rather spooky feeling to it! So pretty soon I’m apprised that the 1/2×3785 gallons of water I had consumed, well, had a generous content of mud, smell of some rotten shit, and was nervelessly released by the Delhi Jal Board (DJB) to obliterate a few thousand of the (overhyped) best brains of the nation. The moral of the story is, exercising one in a blue moon might take a toll on your senses, and you can safely snub potentially calamitous objects! The icing on the thawed cake was the amazingly tiny font size that the notice put up near the taps used, with nearly half the space on the A4 sheet idle, and the signature at the bottom saying “With Regards, Institute Engineer”! WTF!
Naturally, there was immediate crisis for want of water resources in the campus. Seems like mine being the oldest hostel of the institute, it holds pride in maintaining some of the heritage charm even today, and the news of the mini-cataclysm was delivered to us last by some God forsaken, slumber-stripped, pan-chewing sarkari employee! I say this because by the time I decided to act, and I think I was quick to respond, there already were long queues for packaged Bisleri in the only canteen open that time of the day (night)! So you guessed it all right, there was no water left by the time we descended on the counter. The only choice left was soft drinks. Now everything has to go wrong in cascade I suppose. Just when I had given up on colas, not believing what Coca Cola has to say in defense of their Aamir endorsed products, for once unbelieving of Sachin or even Bachchan Sr., or Akshay Kumar, or Riya Sen, did DJB had to deliver killer supplies of water to our coolers! Anyway, I guess I still preferred pesticides over mud and waste, and colored fluid to unrecognized dying in tacit lack of the colorless/odourless water! And as I just sipped the last drop of the Fanta (500ml + 100ml free), somebody on the upper deck hollered that drinking water is safe again!
All this crap notwithstanding, what’s the goddamn use of 2H2 + O2 -> 2H2O, if it can’t come to rescue in such mass-murdering emergencies, of such a treasured intellectual legion! All science is bullshit (and probably I intend to refute more such scientific knowledge in the book that I have plans to author).
PS: I’m getting all the more surer of my doctoring capacities, considering the drug that I administered to myself and a friend of mine to live the night off at least, without any consultation, turned out to be the perfect antidote to death in such circumstantial tragedies, as I talked to Dad this morning!
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